Posted - 2008.11.12 16:46:00 - [3]

 

I spotted the chron during the expansion deployment downtime and was puzzled about the format - puzzlement that is now resolved, of course.

Do you know if the play that was at Fanfest (whether what was presented in the chron or something else isn't made clear by you) was recorded as part of the EVE-TV footage that CCP has said should be available in a few weeks?

Posted - 2008.11.12 20:55:00 - [5]

 

Must admit that I hate the format and didn't read it beyond the first few sentances.

Posted - 2008.11.12 21:24:00 - [7]

 

While the format is unusual, it does have some merits. I can't think of too many methods of writing effectively that don't include the thoughts of the characters within the story. It's interesting to be an outsider looking in, as if we're not there.

Posted - 2008.11.12 22:21:00 - [9]

 

Edited by: Scagga Laebetrovo on 12/11/2008 22:21:55

*laps up Ammatar material* A particularly interesting read, gave some reference to the difficulties faced in the repatriation process.

Comments/suggestions:

This is an area with tremendous scope for further writing. For instance (I'll start selfishly) - Sispur referred to the Mandate as a 'politically unstable ****hole'. What's going on there? The last we heard was that we had a sizeable number of people switching sides (including a governor) and Amarrians coming to clear up the tribal horde. Little to nothing is known of what is left behind, what the impact on their psyche is. Have families been divided? Have there been pogroms in the lull?

As for the story itself, it makes references to 'adjustment syndromes'. I find these quite interesting to explore, perhaps more anecdotal enrichment, like the incident where our starkmanir is accosted by a trade-markly inebriated minmatar harlot? Those kinds of stories give a lot of insight into social dynamics in this space age, even if many are quite logical.

Some details I'd really enjoy seeing about the characters: what do they look like? Ingame there are no descriptions of the physiques nor tribal tattoos (where applicable) of these three tribes. Do they have an accents or mannerisms they have adapted from other races? How can one distinguish a Thukker from a particularly sleazy Brutor or Sebiestor? As for repatriation process itself - what's it like? Do they have screening or re-education centres? How else does the reverence of the Starkmanir manifest?

So much meat up for grabs. I'd like mine medium rare please.

Posted - 2008.11.12 23:45:00 - [11]

 

Ooh, very interesting. I'd love to see it performed (and yes, that might have been me volunteering. We'll see).

A minor nitpick, though, the format seems closer to a screenplay than a stageplay to me. Might be more readable in stageplay format.

Posted - 2008.11.13 00:04:00 - [13]

 

Nice read.

Though something started buzzing in my head when I read Triat stating: "I guess we're all human."

Do the people of New Eden have an understanding that we all belong to the same species and as such have something basic in common? I actually doubt that, I would have expected him to say something like "I guess we're all Matari".

I know I might seem as a minor thing but is rather crucial in understanding the mentality of the people in New Eden.

Posted - 2008.11.13 08:21:00 - [15]

 

I liked this, found it interesting. Nefanter and Starkmanir finding themselves as just symbols to the other tribes, not quite 'real', so to speak. The Nefanter pointing out that he just does not *know* anyone in Republic space, even if he feels a connection to the other matari.

I'd like more info on how the matari tribes are integrating - or not integrating - back into matari society.

Posted - 2008.11.13 13:13:00 - [17]

 

Nice stuff. Not that subtle as usual, but still nice read.

Now as I live (and rp) in Ammatar space, I also would love to hear some informations about the actual (and probably lasting for some years) state of the Ammatar Mandate or Derelik in general.

Posted - 2008.11.14 20:07:00 - [19]

 

Edited by: RU Sirius on 14/11/2008 20:08:20
I like it but hate the formating, it doesn't make it easy to read. Just left justify everything. I would agree with a previous poster on a screenplay format.

"Speakeasy" was really great and it helped having really good readers. Pity about the lame question afterward about whether Ben was really playing a man or a woman.

Posted - 2008.11.15 17:58:00 - [21]

 

Ditto the comments on formatting - it's tough to read when the only difference between the character names and the dialogue is caps. The left-justification of actions is particularly tough to read. I'd suggest italics for actions and boldface for character names.

Otherwise it was a fantastic read. I love these short one-act plays, I think they're an awesome way to bring the story to life!

Posted - 2008.11.24 12:31:00 - [23]

 

Originally by: RU Sirius

---

"Speakeasy" was really great and it helped having really good readers. Pity about the lame question afterward about whether Ben was really playing a man or a woman.

---

hehe i wondered about that one as well but you know might have been important for the guys fantasies that night

Posted - 2009.02.12 08:38:00 - [25]

 

Very good way to give the personal view of a few relocated Minmatar.