Corporation Spotlight: Meet the Goons

Syndicate – For Goonfleet, it was just another week of business as usual: Replenishing depleted equipment stores, reviewing attack strategies, and of course, war declarations. This time, the focus of hostilities was the Kr0m corporation, but with such a busy operations docket, no one seemed to notice.

“KROM? I've never heard of KROM,” said Doctor Draw, Chief Diplomat and Vice CEO of Goonfleet. “Oh, wait, I do recall something about their corporation threatening us. I never really noticed what happened with that”.

Draw eventually recalled that the short-lived war was declared accidentally while Goonfleet CEO Remedial was distracted with the arrival of several exotic dancers. However, Kr0m maintains that the war was declared in retaliation for the destruction of several Goonfleet ships, and hinted that they intend to renew open hostilities very soon. Capsuleer Evil Edna of Kr0m relates the following: “We moved into their home system and started killing their miners, they seemed to take offense to that, so I guess they wanted to try and take revenge on us, but it didn’t go so well”.

Goonfleet has approximately 800 capsuleers, whereas Kr0m has less than 50. But the large difference in numbers is no concern to Evil Edna. “Numbers aren’t really a substitute for good piloting ability and tactics,” he explains. “I’m confident that we will tactically outmaneuver them, smartbombs help and I’m confident we can smacktalk the morale right out of them.”

Doctor Draw maintains a much different view, emphasizing that their success relies on their brazen willingness to sacrifice ships in exchange for a sure kill. “I know some corporations scoff at the inexperience of many of our pilots, but with each new recruitment wave our inexperienced pilots become experienced mentors for the next wave,” he explained. “Frankly, I'm not too concerned with what our enemies think as long as they continue to fail to stop us. If they want to brag about the number of frigates and cruisers they blow up, that's their choice. Some of our enemies do appreciate us for our willingness to fight even when the odds are against us. We will allow ten frigates to engage a single battleship, HAC or even an interceptor in a large enemy fleet knowing full well that most or all of those frigates will be lost. If they kill the Interceptor we consider it worth it and the loss of ten frigates is insignificant”.

Goonfleet’s aggressive recruitment policy accounts for the corporation’s huge number advantage. Doctor Draw explained that they recruit from a select membership pool that yields 200 - 300 new members per round. After each round, the entire corporation assists in teaching the new recruits crucial lessons about capsuleer realities that the academies do not. In particular, they focus on the power of group tactics and the perils of traveling alone beyond empire borders. But despite the counseling, it often takes hard knocks to learn the skills required for survival out in the deep. “Any reasonably experienced pilot can traverse Syndicate by themselves,” Doctor Draw explains. “For our inexperienced pilots this sort of thing can be difficult, but they will learn even if it means waking up in a cloning chamber”.

At the moment, the primary base of operations for Goonfleet is Syndicate, although they have taken a keen interest in the activities of friendly alliances such as The Five and Black Omega Security. Draw stated that they are eager to participate in a larger conflict, and that they would aid The Five if the war in the north escalates. “We always welcome a challenge,” he explains. “We have a lot of respect to foes who stand and fight rather than hide or run at the first sign of an even match”.

But the operations docket of Goonfleet is not entirely filled with war preparations. A wedding ceremony entry stands out like a titan in the midst of a frigate fleet. It states:
“Marriage vows are to be exchanged in system M2-CF1 on 14 February at 02:00 hours. Guest list: All corporations are welcome. BYO spirits.” If your corporation is interested in attending, please note the security of this system. The Interstellar Correspondents are not liable for any incidents.